Moving with Kids: Are Kids Resilient?

When you talk about moving home with kids lots of people say ‘kids are resilient’.
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I have heard this so many times over the years, as a researcher working with moving families. I was on a Facebook group the other day and someone asked how to help their 4-year-old move house. Someone responded ‘kids are more resilient than parents’. Even if that is true (which it isn’t), I don’t think it really helps answer the question about how to help a young child cope with a home move.

​What does it mean to be resilient?

Resilience has become a bit of a ‘buzz word’ in recent years, especially in 2020 with Covid-19 and the lockdowns. Children and parents’ resilience may have been tested to the max! Resilience means succeeding despite our circumstances, overcoming the odds against us, triumphing against adversity.
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I’m going to be completely honest with you and tell you what I’ve found in my research about children’s resilience and moving home, and I find it a bit upsetting. Sometimes people use the idea that kids are resilient as an excuse. I know that isn’t a very nice thought. It’s preferable to think that kids are resilient, that moving is not really a problem for them at all and that they all take it in their stride. Deep down though, I think most of us parents know that isn’t true. Some children are okay about moving home, some children thrive in a new home, but many children struggle with some of the aspects of moving home and the changes that moving home can bring. So what can we, as parents, do to help them?

Resilience can be developed

Research on resilience (and there are thousands of studies across different academic disciplines) suggest that it is not an innate trait. Resilience can be developed and learned. Now this is really good news for us as parents, particularly if we are worried about the impact of moving on our kids. There are things we can do to help our children with the move – hooray!

Rather than just following the frequently parroted idea that children are resilient, and then secretly worry that our child isn’t resilient and will hate moving home, we can help to build their resilience so that they can navigate challenges like moving home more successfully. In my next blog post I will focus on some evidence-based ideas for helping to build children’s resilience so that they can have the best possible home move.

I'd love to help you and your family have a successful move! If you need some bespoke advice, please contact me using the button below.

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