Moving House: Building Children's Resilience

In my last blog post (available here), I discussed the idea that resilience is something that can be developed. I challenged the idea we often hear that ‘children are resilient’. I suggested that we, as parents, can help our children build their resilience in life changing circumstances, like when we move house. 

New research on how our brains work is telling us fascinating stuff! We now know that things like resilience are not innate or pre-determined. We can become more resilient if we do the right things to build our resilience. 

How to build children's resilience

If I could give you five top tips that ensure your child is resilient and totally happy in their new home, I would. I’d love to! The fact is though, and you know this already, when it comes to parenting there are no quick fixes!

A life-changing event like moving house is happening within the context of everything a child has experienced in their life so far. How resilient children are when it comes to moving home, and all the changes that come along with it, is influenced by their everyday experiences. Incrementally, children’s everyday experiences shape and build their resilience. To help build resilience in children, our role as parents is to support them in the right ways during the challenges they encounter in their everyday lives.

Neuroscience tells us that a close, supportive relationship with at least one adult is really important for building children’s resilience. Having a parent who is supportive, kind and encouraging is really helpful.

What we, as parents, say to our children can become their inner voice so maybe try some of the following ideas:

• Be your child’s cheerleader – encourage them in their hopes and dreams
• Encourage your child to keep trying things that are initially tricky, rather than giving-up
• Praise the effort your child makes when doing a task, rather than always focusing on praising the outcome
• Encourage your child to have a ‘can do’ or ‘can try’ attitude and to believe in their capabilities
• Take opportunities to talk with your child about their talents and skills, whilst also pointing out that everyone has different talents
• Talk about your family being a team in which you all help and encourage each other, maybe come up with a motto for your family team and put it up in your home

Incremental steps to resilience

I’ll be writing a few more blog posts about building resilience with children and moving house so watch this space! Perhaps the easiest thing we can all try to do though, and the thing which will have a really positive impact on our children, is being the adult who encourages them and supports them. Let’s be their Number One Fan!

I'd love to know your experiences and ideas for building children's resilience. What has worked for you and your child(ren)?Come and share your views or ask questions in my free Facebook Group How to Move Home with Kids